Thought you lost and Never knew you had
by A Secret Dreamer
Summary: Set after episode 9. Elena wants Stefan to stay, but he doesn't think he can. Will Elena lose Stefan? And who is the knew Vamp in town that Elena never knew she had?
1. Leaving

_Elena_

I ran the night's events over in my head, Bonnie sleeping beside me, tear tracks still marked on her face.

Bonnie. She was so scared and confused, but she had already started to recover. She fell asleep from exhaustion in the end, as normal tiredness could not have overcome her alert and questioning mind.

"_Please don't go"_

But he left.

"_Don't walk away Stefan"_

But he walked away.

The pain I felt as I remembered his retreating figure was overwhelming and I couldn't suppress the silent tears that now ran down my face. I shook my head slightly as if I could shake away the memory, but I couldn't.

I was annoyed at myself for letting my thoughts fly back to Stefan. I needed to get over this, get over him. I had told him that I could be with him, but what if I was wrong? This is for the best...well at least that is what I keep trying to convince myself.

I knew this wasn't right because if Stefan leaving was truly for the best, my heart wouldn't stop when I thought of the way his eyes had glistened tonight. He was sad to leave me there. I was past sad to be left.

If Stefan leaving was for the best then I wouldn't be in the bathroom now, calling him.

I didn't really think he would pick up, he seemed so sure the he was leaving.

_Stefan_

I hate what I am. I hate walking away from Elena, it hurts too much. It's not fair that – even when she is ready – I can't be with her, even though it is the thing I want most in the world.

This is Damon's fault, or to go further back than that, Katherine's. She compelled us, she changed us, and she died. She ruined the person Damon was. But tonight I saw more human in Damon since before Katherine's death. He showed more emotion than he has in a long time. It was stronger than hurt, it was completely crushed; as if the past had repeated itself and that she had died again.

It took me years to repair myself after Katherine died and Damon has to truly start now, there is no hope for her return.

I heard my phone ring and I checked the caller, Elena. She was calling me even after I had hurt her the way I did. I thought she understood that I meant I had to leave, yet she had called.

Against my better judgement and knowing that the sound of her voice would undo my surety, I answered the call.

"Stefan?" Her voice was scared and questioning. She didn't expect me to pick up; she thought it must be someone else.

I just realised that I have no idea what to say to her. I wanted to tell her how I feel, tell her everything is okay, but I know that would be counterproductive.

"Stefan? Are you there?" Her voice snapped me from my thoughts, but I still didn't know how to respond. "Look Damon, just hang up. I don't want to deal with you now" she sounded exhausted.

"It's me"

"Oh, I thought.... Can you meet me outside my house? Please? At least let me talk to you properly before you leave. I don't expect to change your mind but I need to tell you something." I left the house immediately and I began to run. I stayed out of the forest knowing that Damon was as unstable as ever.

"Is that a no? Have you already gone?"

"I'm on your porch." She hung up the phone and I heard her quietly run downstairs. She opened the door slowly, not wanting it to make too much noise. She looked uneasy as she walked towards me. I felt the worst guilt I had ever faced; Elena's eyes were red and puffy. She had done some serious crying and it was my fault. I wanted more than anything to comfort her. To tell her everything is okay. But I couldn't do that. I had to leave. It was for the best.

"Stefan, you leaving isn't fair. Don't go."

"This is for your own good. I promise. I don't want to go-"

She grabbed my hand and said "Then don't. It's that simple. I don't care how much you think you are protecting me, I don't want protection. I want you. I love you."

_I love you too._ I wish I could say it but she didn't understand. I had to leave; I had to stop ruining her life before it was beyond repair. So I did the hardest thing I have ever done. I pulled my hand away from hers and turned around. I pretended that her words were not the best things I have ever heard. I pretended like I didn't care about her. I broke her heart and walked away.

_Elena_

I tiptoed upstairs concentrating on making the least possibly amount of noise and not on the pain that now enveloped me. I found that Bonnie freaking a bit from waking up with me gone. I apologised to her and when I tried to explain about where I was, Stefan's name stuck in my throat and my voice cracked. The tears I had kept hidden rushed to the surface and the pain struck me. It was like he was gone, just like my parents, only this time he had chosen to leave. The tiny shred of hope that thought he would stay was dead.

Bonnie comforted me as I told her what Stefan had said. She gave me a tight hug after I finished telling her the way he had just walked away from me, again.

I needed that hug; I was in pieces and her comfort was keeping me together, barely.


	2. Belonging

_Elena_

With a promise I would get out of bed before noon and an extra long _you'll-get-through-this _hug, Bonnie left. A sleepless night and a head full of painful memories don't encourage early mornings, so I sunk deep into my bed, pulling the blanket up high and curling up protectively, quite thoroughly blocking out the world.

I was falling into a half sleep; still mildly aware I was in my room but mostly lost in a semi conscious dream.

"_Elena" Stefan's hand swept over my cheek, comforting me over some distant woe. _

"Elena" someone said, interrupting.

I mumbled an incoherent sentence that was meant to say '_go away'_ but whoever stood at my door was not leaving. I groaned and this time managed a snappy "Get Out!"

"Elena, please" I recognised the voice now, but I was unwilling to believe that it was him. I sat up and turned slowly to see Stefan standing at my bedroom door. "May I?" he asked, gesturing towards my bed. I nodded and he sat down on the end.

"Stefan, why are you here? I understood what you said, or didn't say last night, you don't have to explain anything to me" I told him, my eyes filling with tears.

"Elena, I think that I do, but before I can say anything else, did you mean what you said last night? Do you truly mean it? Are you sure?" he asked.

I had to look down at my hands that were subconsciously fiddling with the sheets to answer his question, I could not bear to lie nor could I bear to see the hardness in his face. "Every word" I swallowed loudly, but the lump in my throat would not go down and the tears began to run.

"Good because I was thinking about you all last night and I know that I have hurt you but -"

I looked up at his face, where was he going with this? He looked hopeful.

"-Elena, I can't leave. I - "he moved so that he was sitting in front of me, close. One of his hands held one of mine and the other was cupping my face and stroking my cheek slowly as he looked piercingly into my eyes and said,

"Elena, I love you."

My heart sped up to a million miles an hour and my mouth broke out into the biggest smile. Just to be sure I answered with "I Love you, Stefan."

He wiped the tears from my cheeks as he leant towards me. Our lips touched, his hand going behind my neck to pull me closer to him. We only broke apart when we heard Aunt Jenna knocking on my already open door. She was doing a scold-smile that said _I'm happy for you but please be a bit more discreet _and she said "um, Elena I was going to ask if you wanted some eggs but you can probably get them yourself" and so she turned around and went back downstairs.

_Stefan_

Elena and I looked sheepishly at each other and started to laugh. I listened to the sound, it was child-like and carefree, I realised that it had been a long time since she had been this happy; I missed it.

"Oh, Stefan" She exclaimed breathlessly moving closer to me to lean her head into my shoulder and wrap her arms around my waist. I kissed the top of her head and enclosed her in my own arms. I played mindlessly with her long hair. '_I love you, I love you, I love you'. _I thought'_ Nothing matters, we are right.' _

She moved her head and whispered into my ear "This is where I belong." She wasn't asking me, she was telling me, as if just to let me know.

I whispered back "I know."

We kissed again, slowly and passionately. When we broke apart Elena stayed close, resting her head against my shoulder once more. We were in each other's arms, where we belonged.


	3. Disturbing

**Hey! **

**So I noticed that people seem to write little Author notes and I never do, so here goes.**

**Thanks to **_**Bee88**_** and **_**Book Buddy, **_**reviews seriously motivate.**

**This is where the story really begins: the mysterious letter! *gasp* calm down people, it's not a howler. **

**Are you mentally prepared to read this? It isn't that intense but if you're the kind of person that is easily over excited maybe you should do some slow breathing and gentle "hums" **

**Anyway, ready, set, read!**

* * *

_Stefan_

I went looking for Damon today. I think he left town, knowing him he probably flew out of the country and drew attention to himself as the crow that flew over the Atlantic.

I checked the woods for tracks but he hadn't been through there, although someone had. I found prints that were so shallow they could have been made from an insect, of course that would mean the insect had size eleven feet and liked converse. Vampires –which feed on human blood – are fast enough that they can move from one side of a football field to another and you won't even see them, but the marks left by their feet would really annoy the groundskeeper.

Whatever left these marks was still in its human form but was barely touching the ground. If it was a vampire I hate to think that it has come to Mystic Falls. If it was a Vampire, it is a strong one, and it will need to feed.

I shuddered then heard the doorbell ring. It was Caroline Forbes.

"_Caroline?_ What are you doing here?" I asked, bewildered.

She was remembering what she was supposed to say. She blinked a few times then answered. "Stefan. This letter is for you."

And just as if Damon had been pulling strings from above, Caroline the puppet turned around, got in her car and never looked back.

I called Damon and –just like I had expected – my call went straight to his voice mail. "What the hell Damon? Caroline? Weren't you finished with her? You can't torture a girl for this long, you're lucky she isn't already insane!" I slammed my phone shut and looked down at the letter. The envelope appeared pretty average but the letter looked like it had been written by someone who loved calligraphy, ever letter flourished and ornamental, though from the words it was almost like someone saying an insult with a huge smile and sweet voice. It was a prettied up threat. It read this;

_Do you have a secret that you'd never tell?_

_Clawing and scratching you down to hell,_

_Look in eyes deeply,_

_And maybe you'll find,_

_Secrets are hidden in more than the mind._

_A glimpse of yourself, there is nothing to see_

_An empty reflection,_

_What could you be?_

_Suspicion, speculation,_

_I have been through them all,_

_But at the end of the day,_

_Who takes the fall?_

_You cannot hurt me,_

_I'm stronger than most,_

_You and I have armour,_

_Thicker than clothes_

I read the letter again, like an explanation would just magically appear the second time. This really didn't seem like Damon. This person was telling me they knew I was a vampire; I could deduct that much, but why? From the looks of Caroline, the sender of this letter is a vampire as well. Damon would never have bothered, he liked to inflict pain on me and let me now it had been him. This letter was from someone else, messing with my head. There is another vampire is Mystic Falls and if those were its tracks in the woods, it is definitely something I need to worry about.

I called Damon again and this time he actually picked up.

"Little Brother, you really are persistent aren't you? Worried about me?" The last question hadn't come through the phone but from behind me, where Damon now stood.

"Ignore the message I left you, unless you recently got into poetry."

Damon gave me one of his '_explain'_ looks.

"First, I was in the woods today and I found footprints that were even shallower than yours, then I got this," I handed him the letter. "It was delivered by Caroline and she was definitely not doing it willingly."

"This guy is really lame." Damon replied.

"Is that all you can say?"

"Fine" Damon moved quickly so he was standing over me, his face threateningly close to mine "There is a vampire messing with your head and from what you said about its prints, it is stronger than me. Guess what Little Brother, you have a problem" He smiled at me and let his canine teeth extend to fangs.

I stepped around him not needing any trouble on top of this.

"Thanks for your help" I said sarcastically

"It really is great that we have such an open relationship that we can go to each other with our problems" I was out the door on his last word.

* * *

**thank you woderful people for reading**

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	4. Exploring

**Wow guys, it has been way too long and it's entirely my fault!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter enough to even out the annoyance at me. **

**I love you all for reading! :) Go!**

_Stefan_

I went to Elena, telling her all that had happened. She was concerned; asking more questions than I could answer. I told her about my plans to check the woods more thoroughly and ask around if there is anyone knew in town. Elena's face lit up at this point as she remembered something she wanted to tell me.

"Stefan, do have a couple of minutes? Do you have to go right now?" She asked excitedly.

"I guess not." I was trying to figure out what had her so excited, but with very little luck.

"I really want you to meet someone" She told me as she grabbed my hand and dragged me through her house to the kitchen, where an aged man sat at the table sipping tea and laughing at something Elena's Aunt Jenna had said from the sink.

"Stefan, this is my great uncle Elias"

The man saw us now, squinting to get a better look.

"Ah, so this is the Stefan boy you spoke of, I have heard great things" He stood up slowly, using a vibrant blue cane to help him walk, and shook my hand. He was old in every way a person could be; he wore old fashioned glasses and a hearing aid, he needed a cane as his limp was bad, his hands shook with arthritis and he had that unmistakeable smell of old people. But his eyes shone a blue almost as bright as his cane and his sense of humour was more than intact.

I was intrigued by this old man. Looking at his eyes I saw an alert mind but when I used my Power to look through his eyes to probe at his thoughts - into his mind- I came up completely blank.

I wasn't as strong as Damon who, when he concentrated, could pick up all of what a person was thinking. Normally, though, I can catch the drift of someone's thoughts; know if they are angry or sad, sometimes, when I am fed well enough I can even hear names and phrases. But from this man there was nothing.

I shrugged it off, it had been a long time since my last feed and thirst was weakening me.

I searched my subconscious memory for the conversation I had just missed and after a second of searching found that we were talking about antiquing, everyone gazing down at my ring. Elena already feeding them the lie; that it was the Salvatore crest.

"I love a bit of antiquing myself" Elias had stated. "Interested in old things, seeing as I am old myself" He chuckled. "Maybe that's why all you young kids like computers and television, close to you in age!" But then after chuckling some more, he said something that startled me, "Ah Stefan, I bet you don't like computers" I didn't know how to respond, what had he meant? Did he know how old I really was? But I didn't have to find an answer because after a too long pause, he finished. "Such a mature boy" Then he chuckled some more and turned his attention to Jenna, telling her he felt like treating all of us to a dinner at the mystic grill.

Elena answered "that sounds fantastic, we'll be home be home at six"

I realised we were leaving and turned to Elias "Thank-you for the invitation, it _does _sound like a good idea"

I followed Elena upstairs to her bedroom. She was looking at her closet and towards the outside window. "Am I going to need a jacket?" You always needed a jacket in Mystic Falls (if you were a human) but I knew that Elena wasn't asking me about the weather, she was asking me if we were going into the woods.

"Yes" I answered. She held up a thick garment that wouldn't tear when caught on a branch, I nodded.

I remembered what Elias had suggested about my age and I was about to bring it up it as Elena as I were walking toward her car, but she beat me to it.

"Stefan," she began "did you catch what Uncle Elias said about your age? You know, the thing about you not liking computers? Do you think he meant anything by it? Or was his timing just weird?"

Elena really was quick. I inwardly smiled as I thought '_my beautiful Elena noticed something that no other human would have. _I smiled again as I thought of her as 'my_ beautiful Elena'. _

"I noticed too" I assured her. "And I thought the same thing. I couldn't tell if it was just his age, making his timing awkward, or if he meant to say something by it."  
She was driving along the woods now, waiting for me to tell her to stop.

"I really like Uncle Elias. He helps me remember Dad. He tells us things – Jeremy and I – memories he has of when my Dad was young. Jeremy loves him Stefan. I really hope that what he said was nothing; I really hope it was just his old age, but I don't think you should rule out that he sent you that letter."

"Just here" I said to Elena, gesturing towards the side of the road. She pulled over and I noticed how tight her grip on the car wheel was.

_Elena_

I pulled over and took a deep breath. I was thinking about the possibility of Uncle Elias being the sender of Stefan's letter. I was going through all the things this implied. If he was the sender he was a Vampire. A Vampire Aunt Jenna had asked into our home. A Vampire who had access to my brother, my aunt – and if they were his tracks in the woods and he was strong enough – the person I loved most in the world, Stefan. I looked over at him and saw the understanding in his eyes. He never pried through my mind but he always knew what I was thinking.

He took my hand is his and gently whispered in my ear. "He wouldn't earn your trust, and mine, just to suck everyone dry. Your family is safe, I promise. Anyway Elena, he may just be a batty old man."

And then, to really right my thoughts, he kissed me reassuringly, once on the lips and once on the top of my head.

I smiled at him weakly before climbing out of the car and letting his hand clasp around mine, leading me into the woods.

We hadn't been walking very long when Stefan stopped and stood still. I tried, but couldn't match his absolutely frozen body, still needing to breathe and not being able to control the slight shakes in the leg that was not fully on the ground from me stopping half-step.

Before, whatever Stefan had heard was too quiet for me but now I heard a rustling that made me flick my head around in all directions as whatever made the noise was moving impossibly fast around us.

His grip on my hand tightened and he pulled me closer to him.

I was searching the trees for any sign of movement. A wind came through the woods and shook the leaves and made the branches sway.

Then it was silent.

I felt another breeze but the trees did not move. The wind on my neck was warm.

It wasn't the wind. It was someone's breath.

I shrieked as I spun around, expecting to find someone standing right behind me, but there was no one.

I was breathing heavily and hiding into Stefan's chest. He wrapped his arms around me and was whispering that everything is okay.

A minute later I heard Stefan's voice, level and bored. "Hello Damon."

I turned and saw Damon standing behind me, the biggest smirk on his face.

"You just breathe on a human's neck and they completely freak"

I sent him the dirtiest look I could muster.

He ignored it and said "So why are you two walking through the woods, off the path I might add. That's dangerous; you could meet a monster out here." His eyes flashed red and I thought I could see the tips of his fangs poking out from under his lip as he looked directly at my neck. A shiver went down my spine.

Beside me, Stefan growled. I looked up at him with surprise.

"We were searching the woods for any trace of my personal poet" Stefan could barely hide the anger in his voice as he ignored my questioning eyes.

"You obviously have not had any luck, I haven't either, but with superior powers I didn't need any luck. I found a nest. Down by the graveyard."

"New?"

"No doubt, and the vampire is still living there"

"Thank – you Damon"

Stefan turned around and started to lead me towards the boarder of the woods, I stopped.

"Uh, Stefan, the cemetery is the other way."

"I know Elena, I am taking you back to your car where you are going to drive to Bonnie's house and be safe."

I knew he was trying to protect me but it was a little annoying being treated like a child.

"Don't waste time, I can walk myself" I told him.

"Or I can walk her" Damon cut in It wasn't a threat or a malicious way to point out his authority, he was offering.

Stefan needed to go to the nest and check it out before its resident returned, he couldn't take me but I needed to get back to the car. It was a fair walk and Damon's companionship was probably a better choice than me getting eaten by who or whatever is out here.

Probably.

Stefan saw this too and shook his head before answering.

"Fine" he said, "but you have got to make sure she is safe. You can't hurt her Damon. Not this time."

Damon just nodded.

There was something solemn that passed through from Stefan to Damon and back. As if the two were not enemies but brothers, if only for seconds, as if the agreement was deeper than the hate they felt, much deeper.

I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was prying into this profound moment just by standing in the same air space as them.

Damon broke away and took controlled steps toward the border of the clearing, I followed, my steps even more controlled as I was afraid to tread on anything that would snap or crunch too loudly.

_Damon_

I walked slightly in front of Elena, not bothering to turn my head when she spoke to me.

"Opting for the quick rather than safe route" She asked.

"Elena" I mocked, taking on the snide voice I knew annoyed her, even more than it annoys Stefan. "Walking with me _is _the safe route; no path will stop something unfriendly approaching us. But I can stop it from going any farther than approaching."

She comprehended this; probably imagining what would be stupid enough to approach us and what I would do to it. I smirked to myself and felt for her mind, I wonder how creative she really is. What does she think I look like when I...nothing. Not one little fearful thought form her. I groaned. Stupid Saint Stefan and his vervain necklace, I wonder if I could get it off her. Of course I couldn't, it would burn me like fire if I got close to it.

"What?" She inquired. Oh, I had groaned out loud. Weird, normally I am aware of when I am displaying my emotions.

"You" I answered.

"What about me?"

"It's your stupid vervain necklace."

"Oh, right, sorry that my mind isn't just open for possessing." She was always brave enough to say rude things but never were we in a deserted part of a forest before. She could tell I meant what I had said to Stefan, that I wasn't going to hurt her. And the little brat was using it to annoy me.

I turned around abruptly so that Elena walked straight into me. I caught her wrist with one hand. Just as I had hoped, she had been caught off guard.

She pulled on her wrist slightly but I didn't allow her to move an inch.

Her eyes dragged up my arm to my face where she gave me the most annoying smirk I have ever seen. It was as if I was looking in a mirror, she had seen me give that face to her so many times she was now using it on me.

I was just playing before, not really annoyed, but now she was really playing with my restraint.

She held the stare even though I'm sure she felt the pain of my hand tightening on her arm. She was being brave again. She knew I could snap her arm in a second yet her pride kept her holding my eyes instead of grovelling the way most would. I thought of myself, the way I had been with my father, and immediately saw myself in Elena. Self revulsion rushed through me as I quickly let go of her and continued the walk. I saw her rubbing her wrist in her hand as she sent vacant looks my way.

"I could have done it" I tried to grip onto some sliver of the menacing persona I had just lost.

"I know that Damon, but you didn't." We had reached the border of the woods now and I could see Elena's car. I took a step forward and was surprised to find a hand reach around my arm and will me to turn around.

She looked concerned, concerned for me, how weird.

"Why did you do that?" She seemed truly baffled.

"I would prefer to keep my word to Stefan, despite you doubting my honour."

"No, not just letting me go, the way you did it. Damon, you looked like you were in pain yourself"  
Dam this human, why must she always see what every other misses?

"I was fighting with myself. To break your arm or just kill you on the spot, it took a lot of restraint to avoid both." I sent her a grim smile before disappearing into the top of a tree to see her look around for me and then get in her car and drive away.

I sat, remembering her concerned eyes. I was about to leave when I heard her car screech to a stop and something metal crush violently, less than a mile down the road. I thought that I had heard her scream too. I jumped from the tree and ran to her as fast as I could. As I arrived I steaded her stumbling body and looked into her face. She was frantic and afraid. Rarely did she ever look this panick-stricken. I turned my head in all directions and gathered what I could form the scene.

Elena's car was wrapped around a tree on the border of the woods, _she_ was clinging to my arm with tears racing down her cheeks and a message was written on the road in huge letters, as if whoever the author was, had burned each letter into the gravel.


End file.
